Saturday, July 18, 2015

Word is spreading


I have joined a bunch of Weight Loss Surgery groups on Facebook.  To see everyone's transformations are so encouraging.
I have decided on my "pre" photo.
It is going to be me puffing up as much as possible. Looking the fattest I can possibly look.  Something like this:
Image result for jabba the hutt
Wearing a tube top and spandex. Looking horrific. Side ponytail- maybe a fanny pack.  Knee high sports socks. 
My thinking is that every picture I have after that is going to look FAR better than that one.  Everyone is going to be like.. "HOLY CRAP! WHAT AN AMAZING TRANSFORMATION!"
And little by little the tube top will get too big, the tube socks will start slouching, the fanny pack would need to be slung over my shoulder. 
It's going to be epic.
I have a couple of more appointments this coming week.  Dietician and Psych evaluation.  ONE psych evaluation.  I am thinking.. it took 40 years of issues with food. I am going to need some psych help after the surgery too. 
More things of things I look forward to:
Putting on tights like a human
There will be more things.. I am 100% sure of it.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Time for a change.. a big fat change.

I have always wanted to run.  I see people running, and I want to do it.  I see people biking and I want to do it.

I am now at a time in my life where I realize I just can't do these things anymore.  I WANT to be active, but I am too big to be active.  I want to lose weight, but in order to do that, I have to be active. It is a mad cycle.  There must be something that can help.

There has, for many years, been the idea of having weight loss surgery.  I personally never knew anyone that had it, and kind of thought it was for quitters.

Then my friend had Gastric Bypass.

And she is as far from being a quitter.

She needed HELP.  She needed a jump start.  It wasn't EASY  out.  Far from it.  What it did do was allow her to BE more active and to have the confidence she needed. To be healthier and to live longer to see her beautiful children grow up. 

We recently had a change in insurance at work.  I quickly realized that THIS was my chance.  I never had insurance in previous jobs that allowed this surgery.  The day after I got my insurance card in the mail, I was on the horn.  It was covered.

I have now had my initial class and surgeon consultation.  This week I will check in with the dietitian and another check in at the end of the month.  My psychiatrist appointment is also at the end of the month.  I believe within 3 months I will have all my needed appointments under my belt. 

This is scary and exciting.  There are so many rules to follow.  I need to always remember WHY I am doing this:
Of course I know that while weight is not what makes ME, me.. I also know that weight is a huge part of my self image... my... what is the right word... my self WORTH.  I miss the old me. The more confident me.  I want her back.  I believe this will help.
Things I look forward to after the surgery:
Crossing my legs
Playing with my kids without almost immediate fatigue
Wearing cute clothes that are drapes
Riding my bike
Going places wondering if I am going to be the biggest person there
Getting rid of at least 3 of my chins
Learning how to eat correctly and teach it to my family
So- onward with a new adventure. 
I have such excitement to see where this adventure will take me and my family.