Well. Surgery done. 3 months under my belt and 66lbs gone daddy gone. I still can't see it. It is a mind fuck if there ever was one. I did cross my legs twice, but I am afraid to try again. I also had to get new pants... as I looked redonk in my oversized circus tents. But when I look at my body in a *HORROR* full length mirror.. I see no difference.
I am absolutely not a star student. I have had slip ups and have made some really poor decisions food wise, but I can honestly say that the good food decisions far surpass the crappy ones.
I will be getting on a plane at the end of this month to go to Austin. I am so freaking out about it. Fat peoples worst nightmares always have plane seats in them. Squeezed in, touching the arm of a stranger or trying your best to smoosh up to the window. I just really want to be able to buckle the seatbelt. Here is to hoping! Then there is the thing about giving up alcohol for a year. I am not quite sure how I am going to survive 5 days with the owners of the company and the general manager. I'm bringing my yoga dvd's - and hoping for the best. Though, really- I am 100% sure that yoga is not going to taste better than a So.Co Old Fashioned Sweet.
Tim, my older brother, is going to have a heart bypass this coming week. I am not in a place I can really write about it. I am bitter and frustrated and scared to death. I learned about that right before Traci landed in the hospital with Pancreatitis. I can't write about that, either.. I am so scared to lose them both.
Meanwhile. I am giving my 30 day notice in 30 days. It is time. I had an epiphany that I actually want to try raising my kids that we fought so hard to adopt. Cora, on a regular basis, is using the phrase "Bye Felicia". The things that come out of Dario's mouth are simply shocking. We are having date night tomorrow night to figure it all out.
There are a lot of changes happening in the Ward house. There always is, though. We thrive on change, I think.