We got word today.
Peanut Butter will be going home.
His mother is going from 2 visits a week... transitioning into partially unsupervised visits... then overnight visits. September 14th he will not be with us any longer.
She doesn't work. She doesn't have transportation. She doesn't have enough money to pay for his food once WIC runs out. She doesn't believe in sickness.
This system is fucked.
I am so sad.. words cannot even even describe the sadness.
And if one more person comes up to me and says... well.. as a foster parent you kind of knew this was going to happen.. they can all jump off a fucking bridge.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Fit and Able.
I received a call last week from Peanut Butters caseworker. Apparently BM had a psych evaluation and she was found to be a "fit and able mother". And then *poof* I was the Queen of England.. because that is RIDICULOUS.
CW stated that overnight visits may be granted if the judge agrees with the test.
The -- at minimum--NINTH psych evaluation she has done... she probably could have conducted it herself. This evaluation was supposed to happen in the "magical 90 day" period of time that they said she had in order to get all of the stuff done she needed. The judge played hardball and even had her sign something stating she was going to get it done in that time frame. 140 days later.. we have a psych evaluation.
This Judge/Courts/CW relationship with BM is starting to remind me of your typical Dr. Phil unhealthy teen and parent relationship you see flooding the tv's and, hell, facebook.. even in our own extended families. "I say you need to do this because I am the boss" then the kid doesn't.. then the parent gets mad... then threats are made... then the kid finally decides to kiss some ass.. and parent forgets all threats and nothing is followed through on. The court system is probably the closest thing to a parent that BM has ever had.
Pre-trial is today. Jury trial is next week.
After that I will have a better idea if Peanut Butter is going to stick around. I hope he does. I get sick every time I think otherwise.
In other news, Bean's mom is MIA. Yup people.. she is AWOL .. gone daddy gone. She has been "choosing a different location to lay her head" for about 2 weeks. I got an email from the caseworker that said this.. "I had a meeting with the visitation worker, and we have decided to stop visits until BM returns".
*blink*
You had to have a meeting to figure out that Bean and her BM can't have visits until BM returns? Lady- you are too smart for your own stinkin' good. Thankfully you went to college for this career.
I wanted to reply.. "NO SHIT YOU CAN'T HAVE VISITS ... THERE IS NO ONE TO VISIT".
But instead I said, "okay".
And then in tiny little letters underneath that I typed, "You sure are no Einstein, huh Suzy Putz?"
No.. you are right.. I didn't.
Okay..
ONWARD.
We bought a house.
I know. Crazy shit, huh?
A little tiny ranch in a cute little neighborhood that surrounds a park. We got it at a price that will afford us the ability to do some updates ... new windows.. and new light fixtures.. do something fun with the fireplace.. yanno, stuff like that. The basement is completely ready for a bathroom and to be finished off. Here are some pictures :
Before you know it we will have our little crazy family running around singing songs, laughing and breathing life into the walls.
CW stated that overnight visits may be granted if the judge agrees with the test.
The -- at minimum--NINTH psych evaluation she has done... she probably could have conducted it herself. This evaluation was supposed to happen in the "magical 90 day" period of time that they said she had in order to get all of the stuff done she needed. The judge played hardball and even had her sign something stating she was going to get it done in that time frame. 140 days later.. we have a psych evaluation.
This Judge/Courts/CW relationship with BM is starting to remind me of your typical Dr. Phil unhealthy teen and parent relationship you see flooding the tv's and, hell, facebook.. even in our own extended families. "I say you need to do this because I am the boss" then the kid doesn't.. then the parent gets mad... then threats are made... then the kid finally decides to kiss some ass.. and parent forgets all threats and nothing is followed through on. The court system is probably the closest thing to a parent that BM has ever had.
Pre-trial is today. Jury trial is next week.
After that I will have a better idea if Peanut Butter is going to stick around. I hope he does. I get sick every time I think otherwise.
In other news, Bean's mom is MIA. Yup people.. she is AWOL .. gone daddy gone. She has been "choosing a different location to lay her head" for about 2 weeks. I got an email from the caseworker that said this.. "I had a meeting with the visitation worker, and we have decided to stop visits until BM returns".
*blink*
You had to have a meeting to figure out that Bean and her BM can't have visits until BM returns? Lady- you are too smart for your own stinkin' good. Thankfully you went to college for this career.
I wanted to reply.. "NO SHIT YOU CAN'T HAVE VISITS ... THERE IS NO ONE TO VISIT".
But instead I said, "okay".
And then in tiny little letters underneath that I typed, "You sure are no Einstein, huh Suzy Putz?"
No.. you are right.. I didn't.
Okay..
ONWARD.
We bought a house.
I know. Crazy shit, huh?
A little tiny ranch in a cute little neighborhood that surrounds a park. We got it at a price that will afford us the ability to do some updates ... new windows.. and new light fixtures.. do something fun with the fireplace.. yanno, stuff like that. The basement is completely ready for a bathroom and to be finished off. Here are some pictures :
Living Room
Kitchen
The dining room they are using as an office
first bedroom of three
2nd bedroom of 3
Back yard.
Before you know it we will have our little crazy family running around singing songs, laughing and breathing life into the walls.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The Foster Care System
Is a total mind fuck. Excuse the language.
Yesterday morning I get an email from the caseworker for The Bean stating that the bio mom is moving to 3 visits a week- and then she will go to community visits.
Mom is 17, a foster child herself, can't read or write and has severe mental issues. We were called as The Beans adoptive resource. We were on the ADOPTION LIST to avoid situations like this.
I literally feel like my head is going to explode. I am over this. I am over missing work and running this child everywhere and bending over backwards for this system who is screwing the foster parents over just as much as they are screwing the foster KIDS over.
I have this feeling in my gut that a year from now we are going to be kid-less and have to start collecting cats, pie tins for our heads and begin gardening so we have a place to put our uterus's when they fall out.
Yesterday morning I get an email from the caseworker for The Bean stating that the bio mom is moving to 3 visits a week- and then she will go to community visits.
Mom is 17, a foster child herself, can't read or write and has severe mental issues. We were called as The Beans adoptive resource. We were on the ADOPTION LIST to avoid situations like this.
I literally feel like my head is going to explode. I am over this. I am over missing work and running this child everywhere and bending over backwards for this system who is screwing the foster parents over just as much as they are screwing the foster KIDS over.
I have this feeling in my gut that a year from now we are going to be kid-less and have to start collecting cats, pie tins for our heads and begin gardening so we have a place to put our uterus's when they fall out.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Life with two
Life has been messy, crazy, busy, hurried, dirty and sometimes I am to the point where I want to pull out my hair. Thankfully there have been days recently that are a little LESS messy, crazy, busy etc., and that gives me faith that our fun days will be back again. There are definitely glimpses of it. We have gotten the Little Bean on something for her reflux in combination with a new formula, it seems as if we have a new happy little baby on our hands. This pleases T-Ma and I very much. She is showing her big bright eyes, she is coo-ing.. and giving us huge goofy smiles.
Traci and I were starting to feel super disconnected.. we both hated it. I asked my sister if she didn't mind taking PB and The Bean for the day yesterday. My other sister was there as well with my niece and nephew, and it turned out to be a blast for my kids. They stayed overnight. YESSSSSSS. That gave Traci and I THE.WHOLE.DAY. We went to an open house, went hiking, to some parks, out to dinner, to the casino and then back home. We woke up, went to church and then to lunch before picking up the kids. It was the best day. We took our time and just DID whatever we felt. We reconnected. We talked and held hands. It was a perfect day. I missed the kids, but man, before you could say "go" we were back to reality. Yesterday (and this morning) was a real blessing. I don't want to quickly forget it, and maybe someday it will happen again.
We received our Save the Dates in the mail on Thursday. They turned out pretty cute. I ordered them from Vista Print of all places- so I didn't pay much for them. I would absolutely recommend the service! There is so much to do for the wedding. It is amazing that with everything that is going on in our lives.. we still have a wedding coming up. It really gives me something to look forward to that is for US.
PB is 8 months now and crawling all over. Pulling himself up on everything he can find and trying to take steps on his own. Is 8 months a little early for that? I kind of feel like it is. He also just wrote his name in cursive. Weird. haha. kiddin'. He is talking gibberish ALL THE TIME. He gets that from T-Ma. She is a good talker. He has about 9 or 10 teeth now and wants to bite bite bite. Poor kiddo is getting his back teeth, too.
Maybe someday I will write about all the crazy stuff that is going on in my life now-- how much fun Traci and I are having on all of our adventures. Right now we are in survival mode.
xo
ciw
Traci and I were starting to feel super disconnected.. we both hated it. I asked my sister if she didn't mind taking PB and The Bean for the day yesterday. My other sister was there as well with my niece and nephew, and it turned out to be a blast for my kids. They stayed overnight. YESSSSSSS. That gave Traci and I THE.WHOLE.DAY. We went to an open house, went hiking, to some parks, out to dinner, to the casino and then back home. We woke up, went to church and then to lunch before picking up the kids. It was the best day. We took our time and just DID whatever we felt. We reconnected. We talked and held hands. It was a perfect day. I missed the kids, but man, before you could say "go" we were back to reality. Yesterday (and this morning) was a real blessing. I don't want to quickly forget it, and maybe someday it will happen again.
We received our Save the Dates in the mail on Thursday. They turned out pretty cute. I ordered them from Vista Print of all places- so I didn't pay much for them. I would absolutely recommend the service! There is so much to do for the wedding. It is amazing that with everything that is going on in our lives.. we still have a wedding coming up. It really gives me something to look forward to that is for US.
PB is 8 months now and crawling all over. Pulling himself up on everything he can find and trying to take steps on his own. Is 8 months a little early for that? I kind of feel like it is. He also just wrote his name in cursive. Weird. haha. kiddin'. He is talking gibberish ALL THE TIME. He gets that from T-Ma. She is a good talker. He has about 9 or 10 teeth now and wants to bite bite bite. Poor kiddo is getting his back teeth, too.
Maybe someday I will write about all the crazy stuff that is going on in my life now-- how much fun Traci and I are having on all of our adventures. Right now we are in survival mode.
xo
ciw
Sunday, June 24, 2012
who would have thought?
I should have been more honest with myself when we said okay to this new kiddo.
For some reason that I am totally unsure of, I thought it was going to be relatively easy. How wrong can one person be? Because I was THAT wrong. I thought hey.. we were just through all of this just 42 seconds ago with PB..how hard can it be with this little bean? She is SUCH a different baby (of course- duh) and is pretty much opposite of PB when he was 2 months.
Traci and I have had a rough week. The lack of sleep and horrible diet has absolutely caught up with us. Even with the challenges, I absolutely would not want to be on this journey with anyone else.
The Bean is laying here in my arms kind of balancing on the table as I type this. Overall, even when I am at the brink of madness at 2am.. I have to remember that she is a blessing. God brought her to us for a reason and we will do everything in our power to make sure she is loved and supported in everything she does.
We have two children here that come from long lines of dysfunction. Now, I am no saint and my past isn't paved with jellybeans, but I think we can break the cycle... or at least give it a good college try.
Now I have to go learn about how I take care of this little beans hair. There are so many rules!
I love that she is just laying here staring at me. I think she likes the sound of the keyboard.
In other news, PB is crawling like CRAZY and pulling himself up on everything. He is chuck full of personality and always has a smile on his face. His giggle is infectious. I wish I could share it with you all. Maybe someday.
night.
CIW
For some reason that I am totally unsure of, I thought it was going to be relatively easy. How wrong can one person be? Because I was THAT wrong. I thought hey.. we were just through all of this just 42 seconds ago with PB..how hard can it be with this little bean? She is SUCH a different baby (of course- duh) and is pretty much opposite of PB when he was 2 months.
Traci and I have had a rough week. The lack of sleep and horrible diet has absolutely caught up with us. Even with the challenges, I absolutely would not want to be on this journey with anyone else.
The Bean is laying here in my arms kind of balancing on the table as I type this. Overall, even when I am at the brink of madness at 2am.. I have to remember that she is a blessing. God brought her to us for a reason and we will do everything in our power to make sure she is loved and supported in everything she does.
We have two children here that come from long lines of dysfunction. Now, I am no saint and my past isn't paved with jellybeans, but I think we can break the cycle... or at least give it a good college try.
Now I have to go learn about how I take care of this little beans hair. There are so many rules!
I love that she is just laying here staring at me. I think she likes the sound of the keyboard.
In other news, PB is crawling like CRAZY and pulling himself up on everything. He is chuck full of personality and always has a smile on his face. His giggle is infectious. I wish I could share it with you all. Maybe someday.
night.
CIW
Monday, June 11, 2012
eyes are widening..
With PB we have been lucky to get a couple of caseworkers that will give us information if talked to in the correct manner. Thankfully I have sales in my background and because of that understand how to communicate with different personality types. This has worked in my favor a few times.
I think in Bean's case, it is going to be a little bit more difficult. I have yet to meet her, and she is brand-spankin' new out of school. It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed, and doesn't know her right foot from left. But maybe that is the situation for most of the bureau. Case in point... we have realized that I am only licensed for one child, Traci's license hasn't been completed yet. How in the world do we have this little Bean in our home? It is crazy how similar both BM's stories (from what I know so far) are. I think she is absolutely meant to be with us.
Her eyes are widening. It is adorable. I don't think she got much attention in the group home that mom abandon her in. We aren't sure exactly how long she was there. I believe a number of weeks. You can already see her starting to change with the attention and love we have been able to shower on her.
I have made a promise to myself to not get so caught up in the mama drama. I have no control over it anyways. I don't want to miss a moment of these kiddos. I am going to figure out how to use the dumb little video camera thing I have and we are going to fire it up. I am going to take 234283 pictures with a real camera and GET THEM DEVELOPED I will put them in books and frames love every moment of being a crafty mom.
CIW
I think in Bean's case, it is going to be a little bit more difficult. I have yet to meet her, and she is brand-spankin' new out of school. It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed, and doesn't know her right foot from left. But maybe that is the situation for most of the bureau. Case in point... we have realized that I am only licensed for one child, Traci's license hasn't been completed yet. How in the world do we have this little Bean in our home? It is crazy how similar both BM's stories (from what I know so far) are. I think she is absolutely meant to be with us.
Her eyes are widening. It is adorable. I don't think she got much attention in the group home that mom abandon her in. We aren't sure exactly how long she was there. I believe a number of weeks. You can already see her starting to change with the attention and love we have been able to shower on her.
I have made a promise to myself to not get so caught up in the mama drama. I have no control over it anyways. I don't want to miss a moment of these kiddos. I am going to figure out how to use the dumb little video camera thing I have and we are going to fire it up. I am going to take 234283 pictures with a real camera and GET THEM DEVELOPED I will put them in books and frames love every moment of being a crafty mom.
CIW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)