*DING DING* I'm out.

The toddlers have won again today.

Man Blogger is LOCKED DOWN.

I just spent 20 minutes trying to get back into this blog.  I think I could have robbed a bank a little easier. 

But I am here. That is what matters.

I need to blog again.  I need an outlet.  Even if it is once a week, I am happy to be back.

So much has happened since the last time we were all together *wink*. As I quickly mentioned before, we have added another baby. She is the last, you hear me.. THE LAST.  Traci and I have gone completely off of the deep end.  She tried to be a stay at home mom for about 5 months.  She lasted 4 months and 3 weeks longer than I could have.   She and I are now working for the same company. I love it.  Unfortunately, we are in different offices.  I wish I could work along side of her every day.  What I am even more excited about? That she is out of the house and speaking with adults other than myself on a regular basis.  Some are built for being SAHM's.  Some can even do home schooling and all that crazy ass "fun" stuff.  Us? We love daycare and we love going to work.  Does that make us bad parents? NO.  Do we have the guilt that others feel when they hear from their SAHM friends... like.. oh.. we should really doo thaaattt! Nope. We don't feel that, either. 

That doesn't mean I wish I didn't have to work AS MUCH. I still have dreams of winning the lottery so I could tell my boss SEEE YAAA!

So, back to Sweet Pea.  We like to call her Our Little Prozac.  She is always smiling and giggling and she loves Mr. Handsome and Bean SO SO MUCH.  She lights up when they walk into the room.  Mr. Handsome could keep her happy for 20 minutes at a time.  Which equates to about 4 hours in toddler time.  She was only supposed to stay with us for 6 weeks.  We were okay with that.  Then we were told she needed an adoptive home. So, here we are, now completely head over heals in love with her, hoping she will be with us forever. 

We just had our first official Halloween as a family of 4.  It was a lot of fun.  One *ahem* came down with the stomach flu. I am home from work.  Traci is on the couch home from work.  I just got a call that Mr. Handsome has had two blow outs and I need to come pick him up. 

Don't judge me.  My plan was to Lysol the damn house.

Our Bean will share our last name as of August 25th. 

Court was quick.  Really really quick. They announced that possible father wasn't the father. Mom's rights already were terminated a month ago and then- they set a date.

While the caseworker and I were in the lobby waiting for our hearing to be announced, she turned to me and said do you think (Bean) will ever go looking for her father?

*blank stare*

I simply said. If she does- she does.

Little does that caseworker know that is something that foster and adoptive parents obsess about even before they meet their littles. 

I can't think about that now, though... we have a party to plan :)

It has been a long time, hasn't it?

I wonder what I could write about? Our adoption of our son, my wife becoming a stay-at-home mom, our life taking yet another turn when we brought a newborn into our family, a job promotion...there is so much. 

It can be mostly summed up into a few words: I love my life.

There are many times when it is crazy, loud, confusing, tearful, frustrating... but the joy always sticks in my memory stronger than any of the ick.  Life can be messy sometimes... that is just a fact.  It is our choice to dwell on the mess or to brush off and choose to look for and be present for the happy. 

Lets skip to this week.  My bride has taken our son and our little Bean up north.  For a whole week.  I am here with the baby. She is sleeping. She is always sleeping. Maybe I should wake her up.

I have decided I am going to clean this house. 

How in the world do other parents do it? Toddlers are just so gross. They are dirty, they stink and I can imagine how much unknown crud they have eaten off the floor.  They are pretty darn lucky they have their funny moments or I would ship them off to Aunties for a majority of their life. Until they turn less sticky.

So far I have cleaned by watching a dvr'd show I had sitting there, ordering some stuff off of Amazon and now writing in my blog that hasn't gotten any attention for many months. 

I say it has been successful :)

Tomorrow we have court for our Bean.  We find out if possible dad number 6 is actually the dad.  I keep thinking... stranger things have happened.  She has been with us over 2 years.  Biomom's rights have been terminated... now we find out about this possible dad.  If he isn't the baby daddy, the we get an adoption date for our sweet girl. 

I am thinking good thoughts.  I am totally going to Oprah this out. Yanno- the Secret.  Think positive, invite positive.  Guess what I am thinking about now? Winning the lotto.

xo