Monday, January 23, 2012


Vegas kicked ASS. Honestly. How freaking lucky am I that I was able to GO, bring my girlfriend, and have EVERYTHING paid for?!?? Yeah, I am totally bragging.

I could go back for another week-- I didn't do NEARLY as much as I wanted to, and we did a LOT! My favorite thing? Traci and I jumped off the Stratosphere. Yeah. Its true. This short fatty with a humongous fear of heights took the leap. I would recommend it. I did it at night. It was AWESOME.

These aren't good pictures.. but they are proof. :)

On the baby front:

I love this little kiddo. My frustration with "the system" have come to a boil. BM is stating there is no reason that PB was removed from her care. Yeaaahh, BM, no reason. Not for him, his brothers and sister or the two "mystery kids" that you keep saying you had. Uh huh.

All kidding aside, it makes me nervous. I want PB around for a long time. Long. Forever long. What if there is some weirdo who thinks she is okay to take custody of him? I would worry about him She now wants me to call and meet with her brother for him to give me breast milk for the baby. Are you kidding me? No way in hell that I am going to meet with some dude who just happens to be the brother of the woman whose CHILD IS IN MY CARE. She doesn't work, she pumps milk and goes on the computers at the library. She can figure it out. Not to mention she hasn't gotten any to me in almost a month. Newsflash, BM: it takes more to be a mother than pumping milk.

So much more to the story. I get exhausted talking about it, though. I get  bitter when I talk about it too much. I know I am doing my job, and doing it well. He is ADORABLE and happy and ahead of the game. That is what matters.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Lets not go back there, k?

The little Peanut Butter is on the mend. The nurses were so kind to him while we were there and every single one of them commented on how freakin' cute he is. I wanted to feel proud.. But I have nothing to do with that lol. I did feel proud, though, when he would show off his smiles and giggles... That's me. I will take responsibility for his happiness :)

My girl was there too. You know she digs you and your foster son when she squeezes her almost 6ft frame on a 4 ft couch.

PB is out of daycare for a week. That flippin' germ house.

I need to get Internet. Blogging from.a phone is re-donk. My thumbs ache.

Sunday, January 8, 2012


Here we sit in Children's Hospital and little peanut butter has RSV. This icky cold has progressed into something icky-er and I finally made the decision to bring him in last night. I did everything I could at home with the humidifiers, snot suckers, saline drops, etc. Then the wheezing started. Ugh. Poor little man.

He is in the best care possible here, though. Now if I could just catch a nap.

We will be here until tomorrow.

Amazing, really- this mom gig. Making these decisions for a little peanut that completely depends on me. As I sit in this room alone with him (Traci had to leave for work) I realize just how major this is. I realize this is just exactly where I want to be. That no one would ever want to spend 2 days in a hospital, but I am here because of this little guy, who I love... and I want to get better... because of that, I can't help love being here-- as if I didn't have him, I would never have had to set foot in this place.

Does that make sense?

I think he is drifting off.. now I am going to sit in the squeakiest chair this side of the Mississippi and drift off by his side.