Sunday, June 24, 2012

who would have thought?

I should have been more honest with myself when we said okay to this new kiddo. 

For some reason that I am totally unsure of, I thought it was going to be relatively easy. How wrong can one person be? Because I was THAT wrong.  I thought hey.. we were just through all of this just 42 seconds ago with hard can it be with this little bean? She is SUCH a different baby (of course- duh) and is pretty much opposite of PB when he was 2 months.

Traci and I have had a rough week. The lack of sleep and horrible diet has absolutely caught up with us. Even with the challenges, I absolutely would not want to be on this journey with anyone else. 

The Bean is laying here in my arms kind of balancing on the table as I type this. Overall, even when I am at the brink of madness at 2am.. I have to remember that she is a blessing. God brought her to us for a reason and we will do everything in our power to make sure she is loved and supported in everything she does.

We have two children here that come from long lines of dysfunction. Now, I am no saint and my past isn't paved with jellybeans, but I think we can break the cycle... or at least give it a good college try.

Now I have to go learn about how I take care of this little beans hair. There are so many rules!

I love that she is just laying here staring at me. I think she likes the sound of the keyboard.

In other news, PB is crawling like CRAZY and pulling himself up on everything. He is chuck full of personality and always has a smile on his face. His giggle is infectious.  I wish I could share it with you all. Maybe someday.


Monday, June 11, 2012

eyes are widening..

With PB we have been lucky to get a couple of caseworkers that will give us information if talked to in the correct manner. Thankfully I have sales in my background and because of that understand how to communicate with different personality types. This has worked in my favor a few times.

I think in Bean's case, it is going to be a little bit more difficult. I have yet to meet her, and she is brand-spankin' new out of school. It sounds like she is completely overwhelmed, and doesn't know her right foot from left. But maybe that is the situation for most of the bureau.  Case in point... we have realized that I am only licensed for one child, Traci's license hasn't been completed yet.  How in the world do we have this little Bean in our home? It is crazy how similar both BM's stories (from what I know so far) are.  I think she is absolutely meant to be with us. 

Her eyes are widening. It is adorable. I don't think she got much attention in the group home that mom abandon her in. We aren't sure exactly how long she was there. I believe a number of weeks. You can already see her starting to change with the attention and love we have been able to shower on her.

I have made a promise to myself to not get so caught up in the mama drama. I have no control over it anyways. I don't want to miss a moment of these kiddos.  I am going to figure out how to use the dumb little video camera thing I have and we are going to fire it up. I am going to take 234283 pictures with a real camera and GET THEM DEVELOPED I will put them in books and frames love every moment of being a crafty mom.


Sunday, June 10, 2012

We did it!

We got through the first 24 hours as a family of four. The new little Bean did wonderful. We went to Pride, took some swoops around the grounds. I know we would have stayed longer if it wasn't 56874 degrees. That is weird about Pride in Milwaukee.. it is either hot enough to fry your face off, or you are wearing mittens. I prefer the mittens.

We went to my cousin's birthday party after the fest and the Bean was welcomed with open arms. It made me tear up for a moment. I underestimate my family. I need to stop that.

Today we are going to the Pride Parade and then back to the house to make it look less like an episode of Hoarders. I don't even want to THINK about the basement.

Between yesterday and today, I am finding it more apparent that people without kids tend to make distance with those that have kids.. I am missing some of my friends...and I wish Anne and Amy lived closer.  I guess this is my new life. I am happy about it. I just wish I had a larger community around me. Maybe it will happen with the new people I am meeting?

Okay. Time for a bath for Bean. She still smells like the group home.


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Suddenly a family of four

Two days ago Traci and I were sitting on the porch after a really crappy day. We were playing with PB and just trying to relax after the day. I looked at PB and thought to myself... maybe one is enough. Let's find out what happens to him first.. and if he doesn't stay with us, go back on a list.

Then we slept, then I went to work.. and then the phone call came. They have a baby. 2 months old. Mom is 17 and in foster care herself. AWOL all the time- was in a group home, now in Juvenile Detention. Prostitute.. no idea who the father is.

Of course we said bring her to us.

How could we not?

After 24 hours, I am warming up to this little squished face, chubby cheek soul.  She sure is different than PB, but wonderful all the same.

Oh. And she isn't 2 months. She is SIX WEEKS.

Traci is taking off a week, we will get daycare lined up for her, and she will be good to go!

Meanwhile.. the drama never stops with PB's BM.  She is always there.. in the background.. doing everything BUT the things she needs to do to get her kiddos back.  I can't say I am upset about this.

This weekend is Milwaukee's Pride weekend.. usually I would be in the middle of my 7th drink, running into people down at the lakefront.. doing some serious people watching and just acting a fool.

This year.. well.. a bit different. I just went and picked up our "limo" .. a double stroller. We are going to pack up the crew and head down to the lakefront just for a bit. It is hot out today. Maybe shop for a min.. see who we run into, and then head over to my cousins for a little birthday gathering.

People want to meet our new addition.. and I am excited to share her.

She needs lots of love. She has a lot of growing and thriving to do!