Thursday, July 26, 2012


Why not buy a house while planning a wedding and raising two kids who are 5 months apart?

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Foster Care System

Is a total mind fuck. Excuse the language.

Yesterday morning I get an email from the caseworker for The Bean stating that the bio mom is moving to 3 visits a week- and then she will go to community visits.

Mom is 17, a foster child herself, can't read or write and has severe mental issues. We were called as The Beans adoptive resource. We were on the ADOPTION LIST to avoid situations like this.

I literally feel like my head is going to explode. I am over this. I am over missing work and running this child everywhere and bending over backwards for this system who is screwing the foster parents over just as much as they are screwing the foster KIDS over. 

I have this feeling in my gut that a year from now we are going to be kid-less and have to start collecting cats, pie tins for our heads and begin gardening so we have a place to put our uterus's when they fall out.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Life with two

Life has been messy, crazy, busy, hurried, dirty and sometimes I am to the point where I want to pull out my hair. Thankfully there have been days recently that are a little LESS messy, crazy, busy etc., and that gives me faith that our fun days will be back again. There are definitely glimpses of it.  We have gotten the Little Bean on something for her reflux in combination with a new formula, it seems as if we have a new happy little baby on our hands. This pleases T-Ma and I very much. She is showing her big bright eyes, she is coo-ing.. and giving us huge goofy smiles.

Traci and I were starting to feel super disconnected.. we both hated it. I asked my sister if she didn't mind taking PB and The Bean for the day yesterday. My other sister was there as well with my niece and nephew, and it turned out to be a blast for my kids. They stayed overnight. YESSSSSSS. That gave Traci and I THE.WHOLE.DAY.  We went to an open house, went hiking, to some parks, out to dinner, to the casino and then back home. We woke up, went to church and then to lunch before picking up the kids. It was the best day. We took our time and just DID whatever we felt. We reconnected. We talked and held hands. It was a perfect day.  I missed the kids, but man, before you could say "go" we were back to reality. Yesterday (and this morning) was a real blessing. I don't want to quickly forget it, and maybe someday it will happen again.

We received our Save the Dates in the mail on Thursday. They turned out pretty cute. I ordered them from Vista Print of all places- so I didn't pay much for them. I would absolutely recommend the service! There is so much to do for the wedding. It is amazing that with everything that is going on in our lives.. we still have a wedding coming up. It really gives me something to look forward to that is for US.

PB is 8 months now and crawling all over. Pulling himself up on everything he can find and trying to take steps on his own. Is 8 months a little early for that? I kind of feel like it is. He also just wrote his name in cursive. Weird. haha. kiddin'.  He is talking gibberish ALL THE TIME. He gets that from T-Ma. She is a good talker. He has about 9 or 10 teeth now and wants to bite bite bite. Poor kiddo is getting his back teeth, too.

Maybe someday I will write about all the crazy stuff that is going on in my life now-- how much fun Traci and I are having on all of our adventures. Right now we are in survival mode.