Saturday, March 24, 2012

Next week

In the midst of working non stop at an expo, I will be speaking with the new case worker.. and will have a meeting with the GAL.  I have a feeling I will be finding out lots of new information. I will keep you updated on what kind of information.

PB was wonderful today-- even with snot dripping out of his nose and sleep deprived... he and I sang songs and he laughed... it was a wonderful laugh. The kind that isn't baby and on the verge of big boy. It was a wonderful moment... I was sitting on the couch and he was standing as I held him facing towards me. I swayed him back and fourth as I sang "You Are My Sunshine".  He laughed and laughed.. it was perfect.

Now I am going to put my feet up and take these dumb clothes off and get into an old lady moo moo.
And if you think I don't have an old lady moo moo you are wrong. I love it and I call it my moomzy.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Brudda's court

Was postponed yet ANOTHER month.

There is so much more,  but I am just too exhausted to re-hash it all.

PB is sleeping.. I am going to, too.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Court for a sibling

Tomorrow starts the court proceedings for PB's brother (Brudda) who has been in foster care for 5 years... this is attempt #2 at being TPR'd (termination of parental rights).  The last court proceeding was delayed.

Last Thursday I picked PB up from a visit. Bio mom comes out with the kids and the facilitation worker. It hit me like a ton of bricks... this could be the last time that Brudda gets to see PB and his bio mom. I wanted to cry right there. What could he be thinking? Does he even know? Is BM upset? Does she think that this TPR wont be granted and he will return home with her? She then had Brudda give PB a kiss just like she does at every visit. I wanted to swoop down and give Brudda a big hug and kiss and tell him that if something happens, I will contact his new parents and I will make SURE that he sees PB and they know they are brothers.

Don't worry... I didn't.

But I *WILL* ask the new caseworker if this is allowable... because I think that is SO important.

On a different note.. wedding plans are coming together.. we have a photographer. Now to lose 231829 pounds so I will let the photographer take pictures of me.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I have to remember

In this world of foster care that I need to ease up a bit on BM.

Today in our communication notebook, I stated that PB has a cold and is congested. It seems like we have been battling this same cold ... with easier moments than others... since January when he had RSV. 

She apparently didn't like the outfit I sent him in (um. it was adorable) so, she put on shoes that were too small, a short sleeve onesie and a sweatshirt that was two sizes too small... all brown. He looked like a mini UPS driver... anyways.. she sent the clothes and blanket and coat I sent him in back in a plastic bag with a note ripped out of a notebook that says:

"use vicks plug-ins and sit in a bathroom with a steamy shower... thatll help"

I am not sure why these notes of hers  make me roll my eyes and slap my forehead. I think maybe because I don't like it when people don't think I am smart enough to figure things like that out.

What I really need to do is look at this from her perspective. Someone else is raising her child. A child that she didn't give up on her own.. that was taken from her. If she SHOULD have custody of him or not, isn't really what I am talking about. What I am saying is that she loves him and wants to take care of him on her own. I would be telling the people that had my baby the same things.

But then I would also want to KNOW everything about what my baby is doing... and she has never asked.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

PB update.

The horse costume has gone into retirement. People have wanted me to take a picture of him in it, but it actually makes me SO SAD to put it on him, I can't really find it in me to do that.

He had his 4 month check up today. BM didn't come.. she said her bus leaves too early. Do you know how many comments I wanted to make?

Oh. And his case worker was fired. The one that said that she  " just don't want to get involved." when I would go to her with some concerns. I am pretty sure THAT IS HER JOB.

I am not disappointed by this news.

Anyways.. he was a little trooper. He is just over 16 lbs and in the 75th percentile for height. We spoke with the doctor about some of his eating issues and things. Doc said, that because of where he is in his development, we can start introducing a bit of rice cereal into his formula. I was really kind of set back, as WIC pretty much makes you sign a dotted line in your blood that you will NEVER give a child anything prior to 6 months.
I am not sure if this is to prevent people from sharing a malt from Dairy Queen with your 2 month old... but when Dr. said that, in my head I questioned him. My mom was a WIC nurse, they are some smart people there. But, my doctor seems pretty darn with it, too :)  I am going to do what he says, but I also want to run it by my mom, cuz that is how I roll. I make most decisions after getting 32 peoples input.

Oh- and yesterdays visit was a big ol' tranny mess.. and PB came home HOURS early. BM had a tantrum, threw a stroller (thankfully without him in it) threw her coffee.. and had some not so nice things to say to the visitation worker. 

And home he came.

Have I mentioned lately how much I wish I had a crystal ball? Have I mentioned lately that in one month she may get him back. Barf.

Traci starts her foster care classes this weekend. She is from a little town up north. This is gonna blow her mind. LOL

Speaking of my mom (I was, wasn't I?). She sent an email today saying "We don't care if what you are doing is un-traditional or not, we love you and want you to be happy.. .NOW CALL US." I emailed her telling her I would call her tomorrow. I don't know what it is with my family and their god forsaken fear of phones. Or is it communication in general. Ah. Yeah.

Okay, I am finally going to put this computer down, say a prayer that PB in some miracle of miracles wont wake up tonight, and I am going to smoosh up next to my fiance. ahhaha. Fiance. I can't even say it without a horrible fake french accent.




I am sitting right here in my bed, my woman is sawing logs beside me, and I am READING BLOGS.

Maybe now I can get work done during the day instead of fake working and feeding my addiction.

Traci said to me as we were playing with PB... "Honey! When he goes to sleep, we can go in bed, I can sleep and you can stay up all night on Pinterest!"

She knows how to make me happy.

Monday, March 5, 2012


It is sad that my parents nor sisters really have said anything. My sisters at least sent a "yay." text.

My parents....silence.

I will give them their time. But I won't regret sharing with them, or the decision to marry her.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

One simple question...

And the next second...

I'm getting married...

I love sitting on the couch with Traci at night. In the quiet we sit as I rub lotion on her hands and we talk about our day.

Two nights ago we were enjoying this time and we got on the topic of weddings. She asked if I would ever marry her. I said of course I would. She is that a yes? And I sort of looked at her. Then she pulled the box out of her pocket and asked one more time.

The moment was perfect. Just she and I. We hugged and kissed and cried.

Then the rush started ... Texting emailing... Phone calls.

People have been so kind and I think genuinely excited for us... I have burst into tears about 27 times thinking about how NICE everyone is.

Here is a picture of the ring... But it is what is in the background (if you can see it) that REALLY matters :)