Diet. That one that started weeks ago? The one I have to restart.

I bought diet shake mix. It will work. I know it will. I did it for one week, and I felt FANTASTIC. Since then, life has happened.. I haven't gone to the grocery store. And I need a hand held shaky thing that I manually shake for lunches. As in this office - a blender cannot be found.

What made me sad:

The second box of it was delivered yesterday.

Do you know how far behind that makes me and my fat ass? FAR. I should have the 1st box gone. Uh. not quite.

I foresee a trip to Target this weekend to find that shaky hand held cup whatcha ma-callit.

Also...

I am madly in love with my girl. It goes beyond everything that I could possibly write in this blog. Big words are not common coming out of my mouth. For instance, I was going to say.. big words aren't my forte, but then I had to look up forte... so see.. it just isn't natural.

Anyways.. even if I could write down all of those big words describing how happy I am in my life right now.. they wouldn't do it justice.

Even with all of the foster care bitching .. I feel so lucky that I even have the opportunity to bitch about it. As, if I were still living my previous life, I don't know if it would have come to be.
Traci and I TALK. We visit churches, we both want a family, we love traditions, we know that life can be completely NUTS.. but we sit down together every night and have dinner together. Even if it is take out. At night we fall asleep in our snuggly double bed, holding hands. smooshed up against one another.

I believe in love again. I believe in mutual respect.

My previous life was nothing to complain about, but it lacked so much. Nothing that was expensive or hard to find or rare. It lacked the simple... the everyday passion. The passion that can even be found by shoving mail and notes and crap out of the way to sit down at the dining room table and talk about our day.

I have the love that I have always wanted. The love that I would see other people share and wish that, in my previous life.. I could just at least get a sample of. Now here I am. Living my dream. God is good. His plan may not always be the easiest to see.. but that is what faith is, right? Knowing we are going through the puddles of mud in order to get to the sunny shores.

Ah yes. I am a lucky girl. I am proud to be one.

ciw.