Tuesday, May 8, 2012

And then you get a glimpse.

Things have been the same with PB. He is growing like a weed, and Traci has taught him to fake cough. So he does this little cough and then laughs his head off.  This WILL bite her in the ass at some point.. I am sure of it.. but it will probably be funny then, too.

We all have been sick in the house with the stomach flu. BM didn't believe that he was sick- and now believes that, while he was recovering and went to a visit- we asked to only feed bland rice cereal... well.. we are DEMANDING and reported that to the visitation worker.

*eye roll*

It is all exausting.

So. Here is the gig. I was on the news yesterday. I did an interview for a program that we have going on at work. 

The interview went fine.. blah blah blah.. I could do crap like that in my sleep. I knew I wasn't going to look pretty-- I know I am a big girl. But when I saw the clip I was horrified. HORRIFIED. I felt like turning off my computer, going home, and locking myself in my room. My stomach sunk, I couldn't take my eyes off of myself. I looked like something on a TLC "before" show... where they have to get a special car to get the person to the gastric  bypass doctor and he doesn't even know if he can DO the surgery because the person is so gigantic. Yes. THAT is what I looked like.

Yesterday was hard. SO HARD. I cannot believe I have allowed myself to get this large.

So. As much as I wanted to wallow in my sorrows, order a pizza and cry all night... Traci dragged my sorry ass out for a 4 mile walk (and now I have blisters on my toes). Then I contacted my old personal trainer, and we are meeting today. 

Shit stops now. I am a mom. I am going to be getting married. I want to be alive.

I have all this damn shake mix... LOL


Here goes nothing.


  1. Ha ha!! I've been stuck at a plateau as well....I've learned that it works, when I work it. The weekends are my downfalls. I'm hardheaded. I KNOW it works. I am 20 pounds lighter because it works. I just have to stick with it and get over myself. Ugh.

  2. Stomach flu is good for weight loss. Just sayin'!
    Good luck on shedding those pounds.
    Take care.

  3. You should join Mina and me on My Fitness Pal. We are both losing weight too. Good luck with what ever you choose.

  4. Sorry to hear about the flu and the issues you have to deal with regarding the BM. None of that can be easy.

    I was right where you are a year ago. Holly and I went on a cruise and when we got back and looked at the pictures, I was HORRIFIED at what I saw. I couldn't believe I had allowed myself to get as big as I was. Since then I have lost 40 pounds and it hasn't been easy. Losing weight isn't easy but neither is being a foster parent or adopting and you seem to doing that perfectly! I know you can do this. You can do anything you set your mind to. As always, I will be cheering you on!