Our Bean has made it to 8 months on this earth and about 7 months of being with us. There are things that I want to remember to tell her- answers to questions that I am sure she will have when she is older. But most of all, when she is going through tough times trying to figure out where she came from and who she is, I want her to look back and just know how much T-Ma and Mama love her... and that.. without one doubt we want her with us.
What if she asks what her mom did? Where she is? What happened to her?
Dear Bean- your birth mom loved you enough to be as healthy as she could be for her pregnancy, she went to a hospital to give birth to you and loved you enough to put you in this cute pink shirt (I have a picture that I took from BM's facebook of her in the hospital). She left you in the care of the safest people she knew- the workers of the group home- while she took care of some things on her own. When your birth mom was ready to come back, she did. We would bundle you up and and she and you would visit...she even had your grandpa come to some visits to meet you. Between the time you started to live with us and Christmas (8 months) your birth mom made some decisions that weren't the best. She struggled. She left again.
Your birth mom had a life that we don't really understand. She is young and trying to figure out herself.. she has a lot of lessons to learn that she had to do on her own.
But you see, Bean, I thank your birth mom for loving you. For stepping away when she had to and keeping you in safe places. It is sad to me that she wont know your beautiful 8 month smile, your amazing hugs with the lightning bolts of energy that I have never felt from a baby.. your infectious giggle. What joy you are to us, Bean. You keep your T-Ma and I on our toes and can't wait to watch you grow even more. So, lovely baby, your birth mom, in our eyes, made the decisions she had to make to bring you to us. We will do our best to be by your side as you figure out your life's direction and we will make sure that you know you are loved unconditionally.
8 month highlights:
You have 5 teeth and another is on it's way! You sleep through most nights... and MAN you let us know when you are tired. You have a set of lungs on you, angel. You don't like when T-Ma or I are out of your site. You want to be held or at least in arms reach at all times. We don't mind. Soon there will be a time when you wont want anything to do with us- so we soak it up. You love music. Any kind! You love jump-jump-jumping when we hold on to you.. and it is inevitable that you will be jumping on our laps, then, as if a switch was flipped, you will giggle, crinkle your face up and scoop in for a squealing hug. We love it!!! It makes up for all of the screaming that I mentioned before. You were a real trooper for your first Christmas as you nursed an ear infection that we didn't discover until the day AFTER Christmas. Poor girl :(. We promise to do better next time. You see, we are kind of new at this, too. Granted, we had PB, but he was a boy and apparently boys are carefree. You, our little Bean, are a diva in training. We are sure of it.