Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I never realized

how much love you can feel for a little peanut in a matter of a day.... or 18 days.

To try to explain the whirlwind of activity that has been going on in my apartment, in my head and in my life would take hours... and I am sure there would still be so much that I would be missing.

Somehow I have found these parenting skills that I have never used and wasn't sure even existed. I am changing diapers, making formula and washing bottles for this little 18 day old bundle of joy that may or may not stay with me.

I hope he will... he is pure joy wrapped up in a little fleece reindeer outfit. How I wish I could share a picture. Don't worry, I have taken 234239423978 of them for the day that (fingers crossed) I can.

The foster system is even scarier and discombobulated than I have imagined. Some days I wonder if they even know I am here and have their child.

Birth mom (BM) is doing her very best at trying to remain on the straight and narrow. My heart hurts for her... as she wants her children so badly. I don't know what is in the cards... but I do know that my job is to take the best care I can of this baby bird and give him the best start of life he can possibly have.

I am working part time- I bring him with me. Just some random hours here and there.. it is exhausting.

There is lots more going on--of course-- There is MORE to the story.. :) But I have lots of work to get done and I don't know how long he will be content with Melissa Ferrick playing Win 'Em Over .... over and over and over again while I sit here.

I hope everyone is well, and I hope to have a chance to catch up on blog land soon!



  1. I know you know I've been DYING for an update, so glad you finally got a moment to let us know more details! I think you are SUCH an amazing person, I can imagine you are so in love with the little peanut but you still have so much compassion for the BM. I guess no one knows what the future holds, but I am so so glad that he is in your loving hands. I love your new life! I am so glad to see the path it has taken since you've made such drastic changes! I hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving with that precious boy! xoxoxo

  2. There is no word to express how excited I am for you and how lucky peanut is for getting to have you in in his life, even if it's just for a short time (which it won't be....God willing). I love you and him and her. ;)

  3. I have goosebumps. I mean, from F.B., I knew that that you hinted about this. But I did not know for sure that you had a little boy. I am so excited for you that I could just about burst. With all that you've been through and the changes that have taken place over the past few months, I can only say that it needed to happen for you to be in this place right now.
    I am so happy for you and I know that this will be the best Thanksgiving ever.
    Love you and am proud of you.
    Your Friend, m.

  4. I lack sympathy for BM. BM means something very different in healthcare. :) I guess you have something to be very thankful for this year!