Friday, November 23, 2012

Aunt Shmant.

Previously I mentioned that our little bean's great aunt (aka "support person to BM") came forward and wants this little nugget. 212 breakdowns later, unanswered emails from her caseworker and GAL, I finally got an email from my licencing worker stating that "dunno if you heard or not.. but that aunt hasn't returned any of CW's phone calls".

Letmethinkabouthtat.nope.haven't heard.


For a moment I let my guard down, praised God, and put that guard right back up.

I am so thankful for that. She belongs with us.  Peanut Butter has a mom who is nutty but is, at least, trying. Bean has a bunch of prostitutes and gang members as family members.. minus her dad.. who I think, from his death bead, is trying to "right" his life.

Oh.. and BM is AWOL again.

She was gone within 3 days of release from juvie. Is it just me, or are her actions kind of loud and clear? I am almost sure she has forgotten she even has a child. On her facebook she has been friending
strippers in Atlanta. Maybe she will hightail it to a warmer climate come her 18th birthday. Or now. Whatever.

My dear friend asked me this morning if Traci and I were done with fostering.  Without hesitating I said "yes".  I want Bean to be ours. I want to adopt her. I want to be done with the foster care system.  There is no doubt about it. I think I will morn the connections that I have made through this foster journey.. but I am so done with being a parent that has to "check in" at every turn. I want to, without a second thought, make plans for the future without having to ask a caseworker. I give props to the families who continue to help these kids time after time... without question.  I simply cannot handle the heartache and foster care induced stress. It is truly one of those things that by telling you what we go through with the foster care system will never live up to what we actually GO THROUGH with the foster care system. The blessing with Bean is that her mom is not REALLY in the picture. The only time that she has seen her while NOT being locked up was for about... 3 hours... about.... 4 months ago (roughly).  With Peanut Butter we had to deal with his mom .. the lies, the running around, the constant phone calls and emails from the CW's saying "she said this.. she said that"... Barf.

Maybe the answer would be different if I was a stay at home mom, or only worked part time. But, as it is, dealing with The Man and working 45 hours a week AND raising a child on top of it-- it's just too much. I am ready for a life of care-free living... or something at least resembling it. 

Bean did wonderful over Thanksgiving. We went up to Traci's moms place. I adore her family. They are all so down to earth and funny.  We had lots of laughs.

Man.. so much to be thankful for. 


  1. Wow - Bean is very fortunate to have you. Here's hoping you get your wish for the holidays - or however long it takes from within the system.

  2. I'm so glad the Aunt's true colors are shining through. I know Cora will someday leagally be YOURS! I can't wait until that day comes.